That was the thought going through  my head as I donned my running gear Monday morning.

Thanks to a day off work I’d been happy about being able to run in the morning.  I much prefer working out in the morning versus the afternoon and my morning runs are usually much stronger than my afternoon runs.

Yesterday morning though… no so much.

All I could think was “wasn’t I just here?”  and “didn’t I just do this?” and “I miss the 30 minute week day runs.”

Motivation was down, my friends, way down.  So down I think I cursed myself.

If you check out the time on lap 2, you’ll notice I fell a wee bit short of my specified 50 minutes of running.  (Ok, depending on how you look at it… I fell a LOT short.)

It started out HARD.  It felt like work, real work, the entire time.  I kept pushing and slowing my pace so that I would be able to make the entire 50 minutes but I was already envisioning my water break taking a full minute (always a bad sign when I look forward to stopping to take a drink).

After about 8 minutes though, I hit my stride.  I suddenly found myself running harder with my legs just going on their own.  Honestly, I was working harder than I really wanted to and yet it felt easier than the previous 8 minutes.  I’ve gotten this way before, where my body just takes over and suddenly it’s a lot easier than it was a minute ago and I don’t really know what to call it.  If it’s a runner’s high I’m seriously disappointed but at the same time it would be nice to know I can get them because if you asked me right now I’d say I’d never had one.

This would have carried me through until the end of my run… except disaster struck.  Well, not a true disaster.  A true disaster would have been feeling the need to, um…. use the facilities… without there being any facilities around.

This is the first time this has happened on a run and let me tell you, it sucks.  Park bathrooms are nowhere to be when you’re sweaty and hot.  It took way longer than I wanted it to because it took me forever to figure out the lights. (honestly, who puts the light switch 7 feet up in the air in a darkened, potentially axe-murderer inhabited room????)

Problem number two?  It was time for a water break which means I ran for about 3 more minutes to my car and then stopped again.

And, you guessed it…. when I started to run again, I’d lost my groove.  It was hard.  My body felt tired.  I felt tired.  I felt bored and run down.

So I ran 3/4 of a mile and took my 5 minute cool down walk and went home.

I’m not sure if it’s a failure or if I made a smart decision.  I mean, I am training for something so I should be doing every workout like it counts (because it totally does).  At the same time, I don’t want to make myself hate running.  I don’t want to wear myself down so that I’m sick for the big day or just too tired to finish.

I definitely feel as though I could have used another rest day between my 7 miles and my run today.

So you might say I’m really looking forward to my two days off running… because I am.

Hopefully I’ll be more energetic Thursday.