I shouldn’t be surprised

Running is like this… one brilliant triumph to get you loving it again followed by a heart-wrenching failure to knock your ego  back down.  Yesterday’s run sucked.  I didn’t even finish.  I couldn’t make myself finish.  I ran for 15 minutes taking two walk breaks.

Yeah, that totally sounds like someone who ran 5 miles on Saturday, doesn’t it?

I don’t know what happened.  It could be my hormones.  It could be my mind set (it WAS the day I had to add 10 minutes to my harder runs).  It could have been my body wasn’t rested enough from Saturday’s run.  It could even have been the weather: the sun came out after the rain and I was shocked to find the temperature had risen another 10 degrees in the 20 minutes I was gone from my house.  An unexpected 86 degrees is an unexpected 86 degrees.  The humidity was awful.  I got dehydrated in two seconds.  Maybe it was all of the above.

After 15 minutes, I walked the rest of the way to my car, got in, downed about 30 ounces of water and headed home.  It left me in a funk all night.

As I tried to cheer myself up, I realized Thursday’s run will likely have similar conditions.  The weather has taken a swing for the warmer, it’s likely to rain all week and I’m pretty sure I’m just going to take Thursday’s run to the treadmill if the weather is even remotely muggy.

Grrrrr.

In other news… I’ve actually been avoiding the scale lately, convinced I’ve gained weight.  See, I run a lot, then I eat a lot and then I’m sure I’ve eaten too much when really I’ve just listened to my body.  Last night I thought about the scale and swore I’d weigh myself this morning.  I promised no matter how bad it was I’d take it like a (wo)man, start journaling my food again, and get back on track.

So this morning I stepped on the scale, cringed, and looked down: 169.0

Oh.

A nice surprise but it’s scary how many trick the mind can pull on you.  I was absolutely convinced I’d gained weight because of how much I’ve eaten.  I’m making a mental note to stop eating the treats the kids bring me, they’re not healthy and they just make me feel bad about myself for having eaten them.  I’m going to make sure I keep more fruit and snacky vegetables around, I’ve been lazy with my grocery shopping since school started.

I’m also going to hold my chin up and face Thursday’s run with enthusiasm and confidence!  (And I have 2 days to convince myself I’m confident about the run.)

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