Things have been quiet around here lately and yeah, a bit of it is burnout on the whole blog arena.  The other bit is that I always avoid my blog when I’m not doing what I should be doing.  And this time at least it isn’t that I’m not doing anything at all, it’s just that I’m not working as hard as I should be.

I’m talking about the running, naturally.

I’m in awe of those people who can push themselves.  They’re panting and hurting and running and pushing it and they can’t wait until they’re done because they’re positively dying.  I’m in absolute awe of that ability.  I don’t have it.  I guess you could say that I’m more of a quitter.  I’m tired?  I should rest.  It’s getting hard?  I should slow down.

It’s as if I don’t know how to push through.

Oh I try.  I try to convince myself I can push through.  I try to convince myself I’m going to do it…but I usually don’t.  In my head I give myself permission to stop.  Is it a lack of faith in my abilities?  Could be, I’ve gone for nearly 32 years now thinking I really can’t do much of anything in the physical arena.

I’ve even tried the harsh talk game.

As I start to think about taking a rest I start telling myself “DON’T BE LAZY, LAZY IS WHAT GOT YOU FAT IN THE FIRST PLACE.”  It doesn’t really motivate me too much.

I try the pep talk.

“Look at what you’re doing!  This is awesome, you never thought you could do this much now keep on!”  Only, when I realize how far I’ve come and that I could do this stuff a year ago I think I’ve earned my right to stop.

Yes, I’m THAT ridiculous.

How do you do it?  You people.  You fantastic awe-inspiring people who can push yourselves until the end no matter how much it hurts.  What do you say to yourself?  How do you keep on trucking along?