Yep, that would be the exact same doctor’s office room I photographed Saturday.

No, the EKG  machine wasn’t in there then.

Yes, the machine is for me.

I thought the trouble had been directly related to me being sick, and to be honest, I’m still holding onto hope it is.  Since Friday my heart has been beating so fast and my blood pressure has felt as though it had to be sky high.  Really, I attributed it to being sick.  So, when yesterday at work I kept feeling as though I might fall over every time I walked around (bad news when you’re a teacher, right?), I got scared.  I had the school nurse take my blood pressure and heart rate.  My blood pressure was 115/78 (the lower number there is high for me) and my heart rate was 115.  YIKES.

So I went to the doctor.  He ran the ekg which came out normal.  He had me get a chest x-ray, which showed nothing abnormal.  He stared at me.  Essentially my numbers were elevated for me, but really just at the high range of “normal” for everyone else.  In essence, he didn’t feel as though I’m at risk of a heart attack or something but didn’t know why I felt like I did.

Well shit.

He gave me two options.  One:  Go to the ER with my ekg readout and my chest x-rays in hand and see what they had to say.  Two: Let them draw some blood and run some tests and they’ll get back to me in a day or two and in the meantime, I’ll start on some medication to lower my heart rate.

Don’t the people on Let’s Make a Deal get 3 choices?

I felt like crap and just wanted to be at home and in bed, curled up into a ball and possibly sleeping. (You see, when your heart is hammering away all night, it’s difficult to sleep.)  I’d been Up since 5 am, feeling like crap and the clock read 1 pm.  I chose to get the blood drawn.  I mean, what did I think the ER would do?

Right now I’m feeling a bit better.  Better enough to try to work again today.  I just hope it lasts.  The heart medication is supposed to take a few days to kick in and honestly, I can’t say I like taking it.  How will I know if the problem continues?  How will I know if it just goes away?  And why don’t I know what’s wrong with me?  It’s incredibly frustrating.  And scary.  Did I mention scary?

And frustrating.  I mean, here I am… perhaps in the greatest shape of my life.  Yes, I’m still over weight.  Yes, I realize I’m not the perfect physical specimen.  But I also know I’m eating better than ever before and I’m exercising more than I ever have.  So why am I now having heart problems?

I still have so many questions.  I couldn’t get in to see my family practitioner yesterday and so I went to a walk-in clinic.  I’m thinking I need to make an appointment with my family doctor and see what he has to say.  And… you know, ask about working out.  Obviously I wouldn’t work out feeling like I did yesterday but… what about tomorrow when I feel normal?  And what if my heart rate goes back to its normal 65 bpm and this medication lowers that to a dangerously low amount?

Ugh.

Scared.  Frustrated. Sad.

That’s me.

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