I’ve got them… in a bad bad way.  Winter usually does this to me in January, which seems to extend on out into eternity.  Heck, we haven’t even had a good snow fall yet this year and I seemingly have lost ambition.

Miraculously I’m still losing weight, albeit at a slower pace, which is fine by me.  Tom Venuto’s blog post on the Holiday’s aside, I’ll be pleased if I  manage even a small loss over Christmas.  I know I came out of Thanksgiving feeling kind of set back, yet confident I could go through Christmas… but I’d forgotten how many food items get thrown around during the Christmas season.  Every single day there is a new treat thrust in front of my face.  Every single day I have to either turn it down (which I’ve done quite a bit of) or decide this is one I’m going to partake in.

The end result is that my eating is sloppy.  It’s not as structured as I’m used to and I’m feeling a bit out of control these days.  I’m still in control, I know this, and yet the lack of tight meal planning and the addition of random treats is making me feel nearly panicked.  I’m sure most of my fear can be attributed to the slippery slope effect… where these treats now will turn into all the time treats which will turn into weight gain.  It’s a very real and very possible scenario.  Yet, what am I doing about it?  Nothing.

This is where the blahs come in.  I’m feeling unmotivated, uninspired and,well… blah.  My Curves weigh in is set for next Saturday (not this Saturday, though I certainly could do it then) and I have a hard time mustering up any excitement or nervousness over it.  I no longer trust their measurements, I no longer think I’m going to reach that 24 inches lost mark because hey, who knows what my measurements truly are?  I had 4 inches to go as of November and if I’m only losing 2 inches in a month when I lose 8 lbs in that month… well it’s looking as though I’ve got a few months left to lose those 4 inches.  The universe could shock me and I could end up with someone measuring me who gives me 30 inches lost like a shock… but again…what’s the difference?

I’ve been toying with the idea of doing my own measurements and I believe I might.  I guess I could always compare them to the ones they do at Curves and figure it out from there.  My original measurements are the ones I’ll have to trust and it’s a good habit to get into anyway because I’m fairly certain I’ll be leaving Curves after my one year contract is up.  I love the workout for all the wrong reasons.  I love it because I don’t have to concentrate while I do it, there are no variations to figure out, there is no making sure I work every muscle group.  In essence, it’s the lazy woman’s work out.  I will always be thankful to Curves for getting me moving again, but I am not – and don’t want to become – your typical Curves lady.  I don’t chit chat while I work out and I keep my butt moving so I keep my heart rate up and do the work out as it was intended.  I know that irks a lot of people there; they find me rude because I don’t chit chat and if they’re slow and not moving every 30 seconds I end up catching up to them and I’m sorry but I don’t stay longer at a station pretending to work out when I’m not.  I get right behind someone and just keep moving.  This pushes them along.  They hate me there… but I digress.

I’m blah and I need something to rev me up.  I need something to be excited about.  Maybe I need a new/different goal as I currently don’t really have a goal other than losing weight.  Anyone out there have ideas?

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