I’m still lazy.

I haven’t always been a lazy person.  As a kid I used to love to run around and stay outside all day doing god knows what.  So when did I become lazy?  I don’t think it’s something anyone could pinpoint… it’s more of a slow creeping.  Now that I am lazy, though, I’m not sure what to do about it.  See, I thought working out would help matters tremendously and maybe it has because I am moving more than I used to.  It just hasn’t helped all that much.

There are days when I do next to nothing except work out.

I can wake up, work out, go to work and come home and lounge around all night and not feel guilty at all.  Why?  I worked out, of course!  On Saturday, after I get my Curves work out in, I very well may just do next to nothing all day long even forgoing the house cleaning because “I don’t feel like it.”  Naturally I don’t need to feel guilty about not doing the housework or, for that matter, anything else because I’ve worked out.  Apparently once you’re a person who makes excuses, it’s hard to break the habit.

I’ve been focusing a lot on losing weight and for the most part, that’s fine and dandy.  I do not, however, have any desire to lose something I’m only going to gain back.  I don’t want to deal with the emotional issues such a thing would certainly cause.  I want an overall healthier lifestyle and being lazy just isn’t going to cut it.

So what now?  I mean, I still approach each work out with a sigh of resignation.  It’s not something I WANT to do as much as it’s something I know I should do.  It’s easier now knowing how much better I feel afterwards and sometimes when I’m running I even feel a bit of pride at how much my cardiovascular fitness has obviously improved, but in the end, it’s not as though I enjoy pushing myself.  I simply enjoy the sense of accomplishment and the surge of endorphins.

Do I approach the rest of my life with the same sigh of resignation?  Do I force myself to do things for the sake of not being lazy?  Do I continue to push forward simply because I know I should?  Or… will it come naturally with time?  A large part of me thinks it will just happen.  I mean, take a look at some progress photos of people who have lost weight.  In the background of the first ones, you can invariably see some sort of disaster area.  By the time they’ve reached goal, all you see behind them is a clean house.  Will this same clean house phenomena reach me?  Man do I hope so!

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