one foot in front of the other

one foot in front of the other

I’m not a runner.  I never have been a runner.  I thought I never would be a runner.

I tried a couple of times.  Once in high school, I actually went out for track.  After a few practices of running around the inside of the school, struggling while everyone else seemed to be doing fine, while coaches told me to “watch my form” and I wondered what exactly my form was supposed to look like… I quit.  I’d been miserable the entire time and I’d really wanted it to be fun.  I also tried a bit on my own in college.  I just never seemed to see any improvement in my endurance and, like most things exercise-related in my life, I quit after… 2 weeks… maybe 3.  It’s funny now looking back.  At the time, I thought I’d stuck with it for SO LONG.

I’m laughing now, which is a silly thing to do since I’ve only just finished the first week of the Couch Potato to 5k running program and have only just entered into week 2.  Even though I’ve only been at it a little over a week, I am gaining confidence I will see the program through until the end.   Why, you ask?  Well there are 3 main reasons….

  1. I’m not the same person I was when I attempted to run before.  I’ve been exercising regularly now for longer than I ever have in my life, my mentality is different and it continues to change… for the better.
  2. I actually have a program this time.  I’m not just jumping in and trying to do what other, more fit people are doing.  The program is allowing me to take my time and progress at an easy pace.
  3. This one is the most important… I’m gaining confidence that I CAN do it.

Item 3, the confidence is actually dependent upon item 2.  Without the C25k program, I wouldn’t have this confidence.  I wrote yesterday about the fear of exercise… fearing it will be too difficult, fearing I won’t be able to do it.  I definitely have that fear with this program.  I felt it this morning as I started the 5 minute warm up walk.  I was definitely scared… but I managed to do it.  Each time I’m able to accomplish the day’s task in the program, I gain a bit more confidence… which is good because the program keeps raising the bar each week and I need that extra confidence to attempt to do it.

As I look ahead now, I’m still scared.  It seems impossible I’ll be able to do the runs in the later weeks of the program… I mean.. remember.. I’m not a runner.  I never have been a runner and I am still partially convinced I never will be…. maybe.

You know something?  Right now… it’s the maybe that counts.  It’s the maybe that will keep me going, and it’s the program that’s showing me how to do it.